Snow, fun, and eternal lonelinessSo I went up to Hoo Doo with my uncle and fam, and played in the snow. Sledding, playing etc. I really need to mature. This stuff is for kids, I want to go home, and sleep forever. I'm living on the edge of panic, and I don't quite know why. Actually I have a million little reasons why panic would be sneaking up on me: from the fact that I'll probably loose my job in a matter of days, the fact that I'm too tired to move, and I've been fighting a cold for weeks, my mortality is sneaking up on me day by day, and I'm powerless to stop it. I feel all these little worries building up in me, leaving me empty and dead. Soon I'll be 30 and without friends and family, everyone that I knew as a kid will be grown up, and finally any hopes of immortality will be crushed. And I'll be left here alone forever. Soon my family will start dyeing one by one, and I'll be alone. For any hope of ending eternal loneliness is slipping away with my undeniably false hope for immortality. Who's to say that one is less likely than the other? I mean an end to this loneliness is about as aliens landing on the white house lawn, coming out singing the Oregon Fight Song, and smoking purple tobacco out of 8 foot ompa horns! There is no hope for me, and we all know it. I don't know what brings on this sudden switch in moods? Who know, and who really cares other than me? I am so sick of being alone, and there is nothing I can do about it, so I'll do what I always do and fill my head with everything good and happy about being alone, and how I really like it, and I'll tell myself that I'm accountable to nobody but myself, and I Love independence, like I wouldn't give up every shred of independence and free will for one shot at a normal life, where I can live happily ever after forever and a day!

Ha ha ha, I don't even know if anyone reads this but I read the greatest line EVER in a book: Maybe humans are just the pet aligators that God flushed down the toilet.